Risk and Acceptance

I am beginning the book, The Hole in Our Gospel, and I feel jerked up short.  I worry about some things I am seeing here, and wonder what can I do and how?  The need is so great and resources so short.  Then I witnessed a great occasion for real  and genuine Christian love.
Mirabel is the young woman who is Lucy's mother, Suzy's youngest adopted daughter, now with 19 month old Fernando and another on the way.  A recent ultrasound showed it is a girl.  She has had a tragic life on the streets and has experienced horrors that no one can truly imagine, nor should ever have to.  Mirabel was abandoned as a tiny child and she has had to make her own way in the underworld of Tegucigalpa.  Recently Suzy and Amanda took her in to live at Casa LAMB for awhile, until something better could be found for her.  She accepted Jesus in her life in very moving circumstances.  For awhile she tried to adapt to a drastically different way of life.  But yesterday she snapped.  She became out of control with emotions we can only guess at, and made the decision to go back out on her own.  The worrying part of it is that she has Fernando, very severely underweight at 10% of the norm, and only 22 pounds, and the new baby on the way.  It is possible she has pregnancy related diabetes, so her health and the health of her unborn child is at risk.  Amanda spent a whole day Monday taking her and Fernando to doctors and getting medicine for both of them.  The cost to LAMB was a full month's wages for minimum wage earners here-about $350.  Even that is much more than Mirabel has access to-there are no social services for those in poverty here.  The regimen the pediatrician prescribed for Fernando is stringent and complicated, and expensive.  How will she manage on her own?  What is Fernando's fate?
What complicates things even more is her depressed state.  I think it must be very hard to suddenly be the recipient of so much generosity-even in Christian love-without fearing what strings may be attached?  I think it may feel embarrassing  and frightening to be in such great need with nothing to give back.  The idea of someone offering help just because someone needs it must be overwhelming in the extreme for some recipients.  When a person has never experienced anything but exploitation and misery, how can a sense of trust be established?  I have a lot more questions than answers.  I really cannot put myself in her shoes and try to see things from her point of view.
I have seen Amanda and Suzy with both of them over time and up close.  They have nothing but the best for her in mind.  They have gone to great lengths to show that being a Christian means acting as Christ's hands and feet in a very personal way, even in a sacrificial way.  I have seen and felt only love and a huge effort to be understanding and willingness to teach her things she could not have learned on the streets, and to show true Christian love.  There is no hole in their gospel-and no willingness to let things or people just slide by.
It has been difficult to witness.  It has been harder for me to actively be a part of their love and witness to her.  I am ashamed of being so squimish and reluctant.
Christ came to minister to all of us-the clean and the unclean, the rejected and the outcast, the rich and the poor-but especially to the poor, the "untouchables" of society, the helpless.  I have seen how that works-even when rejected.  A most humbling part of my "Lenten study."  They took a huge risk in reaching out to her.  My prayer is that the love they showed to her and Fernando will grow like a seed inside her greater than the baby girl growing inside her, and will give birth to a new and redeemed Mirabel in time.  She has taken a risk in accepting as much as she could tolerate for now.  Unconditional love, especially for those who never experienced it before, is a hard, hard thing to accept.  Love is hard to accept from human or heavenly sources.  My prayer is that she will be able to accept, in time, the love she is due.  She is a precious lamb of God as are all God's children, even when they do not acknowledge it.  It has broken my heart here in Honduras.  I imagine it also breaks God's heart in Heaven.  Yet His love is still free and available to all who will risk accepting that walk with him.  My prayer is for Mirabel, Suzy, Amanda, and me-that we will all continue to serve God, respecting the dignity of all human beings in new ways as we are led.  To be open to rejection and to risk saving the loveless, the homeless, the downtrodden and show that God loves his children and wants us to live with each other.  To patch up that hole in our gospel.  To risk and accept that my gospel needs patching.